Posts Tagged ‘weird bikini’

The 30 million dollar bikini

Tuesday, April 19th, 2011

It would probably be pretty safe to say you can’t afford this bikini. It’s made from flawless white diamonds set in platinum, and it’ll set ya back a cool 30 mil. The only celebrity crazy (and rich) enough to make such a purchase is none other than Tiger Woods. He recently bought this bikini after his divorce was final. Wonder who the lucky gal is? Or maybe he just bought it to wear around the house on Saturdays. Because, you know, he is Tiger Woods and all.

The goldfish bikini

Saturday, April 16th, 2011

Here’s another one we’ll file under “what the hell were they thinking”? This goldfish bikini is truly bizarre. I sure hope it was created and meant to be a gag, instead of something you’d actually want to wear. Putting goldfish in containers they’re not supposed to be in is nothing new, but this is probably the first time you’ve seen it done with a bikini!

Bizarre, Wrong and Way Too Small

Tuesday, July 20th, 2010

I don’t know where to start.  Is this woman even at a beach or is she just walking around town like dressed like this??  Ok, assuming she’s making her way to a beach, that top is obviously waaay too small.  Any sudden movements and she’d probably have to pay a fine for public indecency.  And are those really bottoms??  It looks like it was improvised from a surgical mask (again, way too small) and I really don’t want to know what the back looks like.  And those pants…..what is going on with those pants?!  Yes, they’re a beautifully matched shade of baby blue but why are you trying to draw attention to your crotch like that?  Who made this thing?? Again, I don’t want to know what the back looks like.

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I'm confused.

Monday, July 19th, 2010

I'm not entirely sure what's being worn here.  I see a bikini top, that's good, but I don't see a bottom.  Maybe it's that little patch of blue?  If it is, it sure as hell is the tiniest bottom ever.  And if it is, where is the rest of it?  And could someone please explain the mesh thing?  Is that a cover up?  Where's the bottom of it?  What are all those ties at the bottom?  What is going on?!  I'm so confused….

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Watermelon Bikini

Friday, July 16th, 2010

I don't know what it is with people and wanting to turn food into bikinis. Food is edible, bikinis not so much.  Do people really want to be able to eat their bikinis? Is there some edible swimwear fetish that I'm not aware of? I hope not because that would just be weird.  Granted, this doesn't look like a real bikini.  Looks more like this girl thought this watermelon was too delicious and wanted to hold the rinds closer to her naked bosom…which is also weird….

Conclusion: People are weird.

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Beer Coaster Bikini

Thursday, July 8th, 2010

Coasters are flat surfaces designed for you to set your drink on.  They're usually round or square and made out of various materials like canvas, felt, rubber, glass or just about anything else you want.  Sometimes they even have fun designs, logos, pictures or words of wisdom printed on them.  They keep your drink from making rings on the table or scratching the surface and overall they're just very handy to have around.  Now, beer coasters have a purpose: they exist for you to set your ice cold beer down on.  If they served any other function, they'd no longer be called beer coasters.  Apparently the ladies in this photo thought stringing together a random assortment of beer coasters to form a haphazard bikini was an acceptable form of use.  Incorrect.  They are beer coasters.  They are made for beers, not boobs.

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Bubble Wrap Bikini

Saturday, July 3rd, 2010

I like bubble wrap.  I like the little bubbles, I like the big bubbles.  I've been popping that stuff since my brain was developed enough to coordinate my movements to pop my first bubble.  Since then, I've been popping them by hand, stepping on it, rolling on it every chance I get.  I don't know anyone who doesn't like bubble wrap.  The stuff is magical and entertaining.

In a move that's equivalent to a bubble-popping blaspheme, someone has taken the joy and delight that is bubble wrap and turned it into a bikini.

[Pause to contemplate meaning of a bubble wrap bikini]

This is so dumb.

Who wants to waddle around in a crinkly, plastic bikini?  Where's the sex appeal behind people wanting to pinch and poke you??  Are some people just very accident prone and want something to protect their privates???  I don't get it.  And no, this does not double as a flotation device.

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Again with the marine life….

Monday, June 28th, 2010

At least this time they’re plastic.  I think this is a bikini and I think those are blowfish.  People are definitely getting creative with the swimwear these days.  Plastic fish, some colorful salamander-like looking things, little snails, some shells, add on some fringe and you’ve got a bikini!  This is a prime example of arts and crafts gone wrong.  The whole thing is a bizarre source of confusion and I’m just….well, confused.  How weird would it be to see someone walking around with this thing on?!  Who made it, who would buy it and why?!  I am so confused….

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