Posts Tagged ‘bizarre bikini’

The goldfish bikini

Saturday, April 16th, 2011

Here’s another one we’ll file under “what the hell were they thinking”? This goldfish bikini is truly bizarre. I sure hope it was created and meant to be a gag, instead of something you’d actually want to wear. Putting goldfish in containers they’re not supposed to be in is nothing new, but this is probably the first time you’ve seen it done with a bikini!

Seashell Bikini

Monday, December 13th, 2010

A seashell bikini top, as a novelty items go, is fine. If you’re in Hawaii or some other tropical paradise and feel like being a tourist, go ahead and strap one on. My issue here is the bottom. If you’ve ever been barefoot on a beach full of seashells, you know that these things are not fun to walk on. So if you like that kind of discomfort near your nether regions, then by all means, go for it. While it’s a sexy look for a photo shoot, I wouldn’t recommend chasing after a Frisbee or going jet-skiing in one of these.

Poker Chip Bikini

Tuesday, December 7th, 2010

This just goes to show that you can make a bikini out of just about anything your heart desires. I have no idea what the inspiration was behind this poker chip bikini. Maybe the designer was feeling lucky, who knows. Either way I can’t imagine this suit has much function to it, if any. But I’d be willing to bet that, if worn in the water, the whole thing would slide off.

Meat Bikini

Monday, November 8th, 2010

Oh Lady Gaga, what WON’T you wear?

Guess it comes as no surprise that after her debut in a meat dress that a meat bikini would follow. Obviously, this was a stunt for Vogue Japan but the thought of draping slabs of red meat all over yourself kind of grosses me out. After a while it’d smell, you’d be cold, you’d probably start to wonder what kinds of things are seeping into your skin.

Personally, I’d rather eat it, not wear it.

The Geekini

Tuesday, November 2nd, 2010

Here’s a tribute to the fans of old school Nintendo: the Geekini. This bikini top features strategically placed directional controls and A and B buttons, while the bottoms have Start and Select buttons. Perfect for the 80s gamer. Don’t expect to plug in the two piece just yet: this bikini is strictly for wearing. Although I’m sure at some point some gamer will turn this dream into a reality.

Too many questions, not enough answers.

Monday, October 4th, 2010

It might be a gold bikini but this is not Princess Leia. Pretty sure this isn’t outer space either, more like Manhattan on a super rainy day. I don’t know what the back story is, but I have no clue what would possess a woman to be standing out in the rain, in a gold bikini, trying to hail a cab. There’s no beach around, no pool – what the hell is going on?! I guess since it’s NYC anything goes.

Beverage Dispensing Bikini

Monday, September 20th, 2010

It’s like a beer helmet but not.

I don’t know about the physics of fluids and I don’t know how you’ll get beer to flow upwards towards a tap but I’m sure the genius behind this contraption has it all figured out. Too bad he/she couldn’t put his/her braininess towards a more worldly cause like finding an alternative fuel source or discovering a cure for the common cold. No, this person instead aimed his/her sights lower. Much, much, much lower.

Beef Jerky + Bikini = Brief Jerky

Monday, August 9th, 2010

Three words that should never come together but unfortunately have are “beef”, “jerky” and “bikini”. Yes, these things are actually made out of real beef jerky and if that wasn’t enough, they have been bedazzled. It looks like the design is similar to that of a diaper with sides that you can adjust or perhaps are made out of elastic. From far away they could even pass as a pair of Hanky Pankys, but don’t be fooled. Can someone actually move comfortably in one of these? I don’t even want to think about the smell. The designers have made it clear that these bottoms are not for consumption, but I’m not sure if any nearby dogs will care. If anyone out there actually buys AND wear these, please share your tale.

Safety First

Monday, August 2nd, 2010

Women around the world can now feel sexy AND safe at the beach. By donning this inflatable bikini, if you’re ever in distress while out in the water, just pump up the top and bottom and let the air float you to the top. Not sure how well it’ll actually stay on when inflated but at least you’ll feel safe. Better than wearing kids’ water wings, right? Or I guess you could just learn how to swim. There’s always that option.

As for the guys, sorry. For the time being, you’ll just  have to fend for yourselves.

No, absolutely not.

Monday, July 26th, 2010

Dogs have been roaming the earth for centuries.  They’ve lived in all kinds of tough environments like snowy tundras, dense forests and craggy mountains .  They know how to thrive to the wild, they’re equipped to hunt, track and evade.  And then humans came along, domesticated them and now we’re dressing them in clothes.  This is unacceptable.  I don’t get it.  I, for the life of me, cannot comprehend the desire to dress a pet in clothing.  Dogs don’t need the extra coverage, they already have plenty of fur.  If anything, they can wear a raincoat for the times when they have to be in a torrential downpour, but a bikini?!  Come on, you have got to be kidding me.  This is not cute.  This is not OK.  If you do this to your dog, people will look at you like you are crazy and they won’t be entirely wrong in their assumption.