Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Bizarre Bikini Contestants

Thursday, January 23rd, 2014

These girls are dead serious about winning and they pretty much all should get the prize because all of the costumes are horribly on the same level but fun too.

Solar Powered Bikini

Saturday, July 31st, 2010

Now I’ve seen it all. A few years back, an inventor named Andrew Schneider was working on a solar powered bikini. Imagine being able to tan while charging your phone, mp3 player, or whatever other electronic gadget you have with you just by just plugging them into your bikini. The prototype was made up using 1″ x 4″ photovoltaic film strips that supply 6.5 volts at 1.5 amps. I’m SHOCKED that these bikinis aren’t taking over and being worn by all beach goers. NOT! A solar powered bikini… Really?

Solar Powered Bikini

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Is it Halloween Already?

Monday, July 26th, 2010

I am not quite sure where to begin with this atrocious Halloween bikini.  First of all, we obviously cannot all look like Brazilian supermodels, but know when something is simply not flattering for your shape.  The top is clearly too small, though it is hard to tell what it actually looks like because of the way she has it twisted into an attempt at a strapless top.  This triangle top was never meant to be worn bandeau style.  Also, this woman’s fat is oozing out at the sides.  Not cute.  Let’s discuss the bottom, shall we?  While I am thankful that this is not a micro bikini, it still looks pretty bad.  The orange and black reminds me of Halloween, as previously mentioned and I do not think it makes for flattering bikini colors.  Also, this woman’s thighs seem to have a scary abundance of cellulite.  I would suggest a sarong or other type of cover up.  To make matters even worse, she has chosen to style her hair in horrific corn rows.  Unless she is attending a contest for scariest Halloween costume, I think she should seriously consider getting out of sight as soon as possible.

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Big, Purple Mess

Sunday, July 25th, 2010

Feeling confident in your body is a wonderful thing. However, there are times when you should keep that information to yourself. Bikinis are made in larger sizes because companies want to make money, not because it is necessarily a good idea.  This woman has far too much fat on her body to be wearing a two-piece of any kind.  Not to mention, every square inch of her seems to be covered in cellulite.  Aside from her actual body, the large purple bottom is wrinkly, baggy and altogether strange.  It almost looks like she murdered that awful singing dinosaur and decided to wear his skin.

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Crack is Whack

Sunday, July 25th, 2010

Uh oh, looks like Sienna Miller made the mistake of flashing bystanders because her bikini didn't fit very well.  I wear bikinis.  I get it.  Stuff like this happens.  But it usually only happens when the bikini has been worn way too many times and has lost all sense of elasticity and resilience.  Or maybe the suit was just too big to begin with.  Either way, it resulted in a serious blooper.  Let this be a warning to all of us the importance of wearing a bikini that fits properly.  Nice arms though.

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Save the Paint for Your Art Projects

Wednesday, July 21st, 2010

One might think that a painted on bikini would be sexy, especially on an attractive woman such as this.  However, this pink fish scale creation would do better hanging in an art gallery.   Aside from her stunning model face, this woman clearly has a toned, sexy figure.  Unfortunately, this highly unflattering paint job causes her breasts to appear much droopier than they probably are.  Even beach bodies sometimes require support which this young lady is clearly not getting.  She should be thankful that her bottom half is submerged in water, at least.  Ladies, it is sexy to show off a fit body in a skin revealing suit.  Just make sure you are covered with some actual fabric, and leave the paint for the canvas.

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Wednesday, July 21st, 2010

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