Archive for the ‘Fitting Blunders’ Category

Word to the wise

Thursday, October 14th, 2010

Here are some signs that your bikini top is too small:

1) You have sideboobs.

2) You have underboobs.

3) You have both sideboobs and underboobs.

If you’re still not sure, take a look in the mirror and ask yourself, “does all this extra boob-spillage look normal?”  If you’re still uncertain, you should probably stay away from bikinis altogether.

Size does matter

Monday, September 27th, 2010

Sometimes bikinis fit, and sometimes they don’t. This is an example of the latter. Not only is it an unflattering shade of pale pink, but the suit is also unlined…which means it’s see-through…which means…AGH!

I’m not saying this woman shouldn’t be wearing a bikini. Women come in all shapes and sizes, but so do bikinis. Unfortunately, this woman decided to flaunt her assets in one that is definitely the wrong size. Maybe opt for one that has a lot more support on top and a little less string on the bottom. And definitely one in a different color.

Eat a sandwich

Monday, August 23rd, 2010

Understandably, not everyone has a bikini model body. We can’t all be super tall and super thin, but apparently we can get too thin like this woman here. If you’re not sure you’re too skinny, here’s a short list of questions you can ask yourself.

Can you clearly see all of the ribs in your rib cage?

Does your pelvis jut out over your thighs?

Do you sometimes wonder where your organs went as there is no way there’s any room left for them in your abnormally tiny torso?

Do you often wear sweaters and pants to keep you warm in even mild climates because you have no fat to keep you insulated?

Are you often mistaken for a mummy?

If you answered “yes” to any of the questions above, it may be time for you to eat a sandwich.

Square peg, round hole

Monday, August 16th, 2010

Sometimes, things just don’t fit. And when this happens, we generally know. When your shoes are too small or your pants or too big or your bra is too tight, you just know. You’d think the same common sense would be applicable to the fit of a bikini, but from time to time, I am proven wrong.

Perhaps this woman just didn’t know her bikini bottom was too small for her. Maybe she thought showing off half her crack was a hot look. Who knows. Either way, it’s plain as day that this bottom is way too small to cover much of anything. I hope the top was the right size….