It was only a matter of time. Big Boobs Heidi and her little strapless bikini to were bound to part ways. A little band of fabric is not going to keep you covered, especially if you’re splashing about bouncing around your silicone-filled tatas. Not very smart. Then again, this is the person who had a 10 plastic surgery procedures all in one go at the ripe old age of 23.
When I think of stuffing, I think of Thanksgiving and turkey dinners. When I think of bikini stuffing, something like this comes to mind. I’m not sure how wearing this bikini top on seemed like a good idea, but apparently Tara Reid didn’t care. With the amount of spillage going on here, it’s obvious this top is too small. I wonder what the bottoms looked like.
Here are some signs that your bikini top is too small:
1) You have sideboobs.
2) You have underboobs.
3) You have both sideboobs and underboobs.
If you’re still not sure, take a look in the mirror and ask yourself, “does all this extra boob-spillage look normal?” If you’re still uncertain, you should probably stay away from bikinis altogether.
Sometimes bikinis fit, and sometimes they don’t. This is an example of the latter. Not only is it an unflattering shade of pale pink, but the suit is also unlined…which means it’s see-through…which means…AGH!
I’m not saying this woman shouldn’t be wearing a bikini. Women come in all shapes and sizes, but so do bikinis. Unfortunately, this woman decided to flaunt her assets in one that is definitely the wrong size. Maybe opt for one that has a lot more support on top and a little less string on the bottom. And definitely one in a different color.
Understandably, not everyone has a bikini model body. We can’t all be super tall and super thin, but apparently we can get too thin like this woman here. If you’re not sure you’re too skinny, here’s a short list of questions you can ask yourself.
Can you clearly see all of the ribs in your rib cage?
Does your pelvis jut out over your thighs?
Do you sometimes wonder where your organs went as there is no way there’s any room left for them in your abnormally tiny torso?
Do you often wear sweaters and pants to keep you warm in even mild climates because you have no fat to keep you insulated?
Are you often mistaken for a mummy?
If you answered “yes” to any of the questions above, it may be time for you to eat a sandwich.
Sometimes, things just don’t fit. And when this happens, we generally know. When your shoes are too small or your pants or too big or your bra is too tight, you just know. You’d think the same common sense would be applicable to the fit of a bikini, but from time to time, I am proven wrong.
Perhaps this woman just didn’t know her bikini bottom was too small for her. Maybe she thought showing off half her crack was a hot look. Who knows. Either way, it’s plain as day that this bottom is way too small to cover much of anything. I hope the top was the right size….
Feeling confident in your body is a wonderful thing. However, there are times when you should keep that information to yourself. Bikinis are made in larger sizes because companies want to make money, not because it is necessarily a good idea. This woman has far too much fat on her body to be wearing a two-piece of any kind. Not to mention, every square inch of her seems to be covered in cellulite. Aside from her actual body, the large purple bottom is wrinkly, baggy and altogether strange. It almost looks like she murdered that awful singing dinosaur and decided to wear his skin.
I don’t know where to start. Is this woman even at a beach or is she just walking around town like dressed like this?? Ok, assuming she’s making her way to a beach, that top is obviously waaay too small. Any sudden movements and she’d probably have to pay a fine for public indecency. And are those really bottoms?? It looks like it was improvised from a surgical mask (again, way too small) and I really don’t want to know what the back looks like. And those pants…..what is going on with those pants?! Yes, they’re a beautifully matched shade of baby blue but why are you trying to draw attention to your crotch like that? Who made this thing?? Again, I don’t want to know what the back looks like.
This woman is wearing a micro monokini. It seems only common sense that a micro suit of any kind should only be worn by women with smaller bodies, but apparently this woman has no sense. While she may not be the largest woman you will ever see at the beach, this horrible orange suit is cutting into her fat, making her look that way. Her top has no support, and I feel very afraid of what will be revealed when she moves her leg. This particular suit does not appear to be covering a very specific area properly. This woman definitely needs to stay immersed in the water until the sun goes down.
If you didn’t recognize her, this is a photo of Nicole Richie. Yes, she looks really skinny. In fact, I think she looks too skinny. While she can wear a bandeau top with ease and avoid having to make any tugging adjustments on top, the bottoms are another issue. Is it just me or do those bottoms look more like a sagging loincloth on the verge of being blown up by an sudden gust of wind? The excess amount of fabric makes it look way too big (thus making her look way too small) and I don’t even want to know what the back looks like. Really, I think she looked better when she was pregnant.
