It would probably be pretty safe to say you can’t afford this bikini. It’s made from flawless white diamonds set in platinum, and it’ll set ya back a cool 30 mil. The only celebrity crazy (and rich) enough to make such a purchase is none other than Tiger Woods. He recently bought this bikini after his divorce was final. Wonder who the lucky gal is? Or maybe he just bought it to wear around the house on Saturdays. Because, you know, he is Tiger Woods and all.
Celebutard and repeated parole violator Lindsay Lohan is shown here wearing a stylish new ankle bracelet along with her bikini. I swear whenever I see someone wearing one of these, it always reminds me of those electronic fences they have for dogs. I suppose Lindsay’s ankle bracelet performs much the same function. That doesn’t change the fact that she looks great in a bikini though!
Here we see the lovely Patricia Heaton of Everybody Loves Raymond fame carousing on the beach. Only, there’s something out of place – ahh that’s it – she’s missing a belly button! How in the world does that happen? Immaculate conception? Afraid not. Apparently she had a tummy tuck and in the process lost her belly button. I dunno about you, but I think it’s a little creepy looking. I also think Patricia was cute as a button before she mangled her body like this. Celebrities!
Here’s the lovely Evangeline Lilly trying to surf in Hawaii. Turns out the surf got the best of her and tried to take her bottoms right off. This is one bikini mistake I’m super happy to have seen as I’m sure most of you here will agree with.
Poor Whitney Port. Her bikini just won’t stay on. The multi-colored leopard print string tie bikini looks like it has a mind of its own. The cups are migrating west while the bottoms are migrating south. Perhaps she just got tumbled in a big wave (hey, it’s possible) or maybe it’s an old suit and the elastic has worn away. Or maybe she should get just a bikini that fits.
Long and leggy Uma Thurman has the height that most women would love to have. But I guess being tall has its drawbacks like super slouching. She may be hunched over for a reason and this just happens to be a really bad photo, but the slouchy posture is not lending her cleavage a good look. In fact, it looks like this tank top-like bikini top is about to leave her hanging. So word to the wise: Don’t slouch and sag.
It seems that Kate Moss is following in Sienna Miller’s footsteps. Both have been caught with their bottoms partway down as they climb out from the water. Perhaps crack flashing is the cool new thing to do. By the way, where is her bikini top? ?
It was only a matter of time. Big Boobs Heidi and her little strapless bikini to were bound to part ways. A little band of fabric is not going to keep you covered, especially if you’re splashing about bouncing around your silicone-filled tatas. Not very smart. Then again, this is the person who had a 10 plastic surgery procedures all in one go at the ripe old age of 23.
Oh Lady Gaga, what WON’T you wear?
Guess it comes as no surprise that after her debut in a meat dress that a meat bikini would follow. Obviously, this was a stunt for Vogue Japan but the thought of draping slabs of red meat all over yourself kind of grosses me out. After a while it’d smell, you’d be cold, you’d probably start to wonder what kinds of things are seeping into your skin.
Personally, I’d rather eat it, not wear it.
When I think of stuffing, I think of Thanksgiving and turkey dinners. When I think of bikini stuffing, something like this comes to mind. I’m not sure how wearing this bikini top on seemed like a good idea, but apparently Tara Reid didn’t care. With the amount of spillage going on here, it’s obvious this top is too small. I wonder what the bottoms looked like.
