It might be a gold bikini but this is not Princess Leia. Pretty sure this isn’t outer space either, more like Manhattan on a super rainy day. I don’t know what the back story is, but I have no clue what would possess a woman to be standing out in the rain, in a gold bikini, trying to hail a cab. There’s no beach around, no pool – what the hell is going on?! I guess since it’s NYC anything goes.
It’s like a beer helmet but not.
I don’t know about the physics of fluids and I don’t know how you’ll get beer to flow upwards towards a tap but I’m sure the genius behind this contraption has it all figured out. Too bad he/she couldn’t put his/her braininess towards a more worldly cause like finding an alternative fuel source or discovering a cure for the common cold. No, this person instead aimed his/her sights lower. Much, much, much lower.
Three words that should never come together but unfortunately have are “beef”, “jerky” and “bikini”. Yes, these things are actually made out of real beef jerky and if that wasn’t enough, they have been bedazzled. It looks like the design is similar to that of a diaper with sides that you can adjust or perhaps are made out of elastic. From far away they could even pass as a pair of Hanky Pankys, but don’t be fooled. Can someone actually move comfortably in one of these? I don’t even want to think about the smell. The designers have made it clear that these bottoms are not for consumption, but I’m not sure if any nearby dogs will care. If anyone out there actually buys AND wear these, please share your tale.
Women around the world can now feel sexy AND safe at the beach. By donning this inflatable bikini, if you’re ever in distress while out in the water, just pump up the top and bottom and let the air float you to the top. Not sure how well it’ll actually stay on when inflated but at least you’ll feel safe. Better than wearing kids’ water wings, right? Or I guess you could just learn how to swim. There’s always that option.
As for the guys, sorry. For the time being, you’ll just have to fend for yourselves.
Dogs have been roaming the earth for centuries. They’ve lived in all kinds of tough environments like snowy tundras, dense forests and craggy mountains . They know how to thrive to the wild, they’re equipped to hunt, track and evade. And then humans came along, domesticated them and now we’re dressing them in clothes. This is unacceptable. I don’t get it. I, for the life of me, cannot comprehend the desire to dress a pet in clothing. Dogs don’t need the extra coverage, they already have plenty of fur. If anything, they can wear a raincoat for the times when they have to be in a torrential downpour, but a bikini?! Come on, you have got to be kidding me. This is not cute. This is not OK. If you do this to your dog, people will look at you like you are crazy and they won’t be entirely wrong in their assumption.
I’m not entirely sure what’s being worn here. I see a bikini top, that’s good, but I don’t see a bottom. Maybe it’s that little patch of blue? If it is, it sure as hell is the tiniest bottom ever. And if it is, where is the rest of it? And could someone please explain the mesh thing? Is that a cover up? Where’s the bottom of it? What are all those ties at the bottom? What is going on?! I’m so confused….
I acknowledge that it would be ageist of me to ask whether there should be an age limit to wearing bikinis, but really, when you look at the photo of this super frail-looking woman in a g-string bikini would you not agree?! How about an age limit to g-string bikinis? Would that be better?? Actually, maybe this woman isn’t old at all. Maybe she’s just a super tan, super skinny blond who wants to tan her butt (wherever it may be) and we should just let her do that. Maybe.
I wish I had the back story to this photo. Was this a costume party? A luau? Halloween? Why is she wearing a bikini top in the shape of hands and why does he have a giant marijuana leaves on his party beads? The hands totally creep me out. They’re too realistic looking and it makes me think that she has mutant hands growing from her armpits that are scared and holding on for dear life. Plus the hands are small too, like carny hands. That adds an additional creep factor. Austin Powers would back me up on this. And what would she be wearing on the bottom?? You know what, I’m going to go look at something else before my imagination freaks me out.
At least this time they’re plastic. I think this is a bikini and I think those are blowfish. People are definitely getting creative with the swimwear these days. Plastic fish, some colorful salamander-like looking things, little snails, some shells, add on some fringe and you’ve got a bikini! This is a prime example of arts and crafts gone wrong. The whole thing is a bizarre source of confusion and I’m just….well, confused. How weird would it be to see someone walking around with this thing on?! Who made it, who would buy it and why?! I am so confused….
I’m sensing that people have a weird fascination with fitting things over breasts. This top looks like a strapless bra that had two baseball gloves glued over the cups so that, well, you could presumably slip a hand in them and, well, you get the idea. And if you don’t like the blue version, there’s a green and orange version as well. I don’t know what anyone would make this. Obviously it’s not a functional bikini. Since there are no neck ties, I imagine it’d get heavy after a while and just slide down. And no, I do not wish to hazard a guess as to what the bottoms look like.
