This not-so-clever bikini is made from the same type of sticky stars that your kindergarten teacher likely put on your school papers to denote a certain amount of “job well done”. I just really hope this girl didn’t stay out in the sun very long like that. The resulting sunburn would look utterly gruesome.
It would probably be pretty safe to say you can’t afford this bikini. It’s made from flawless white diamonds set in platinum, and it’ll set ya back a cool 30 mil. The only celebrity crazy (and rich) enough to make such a purchase is none other than Tiger Woods. He recently bought this bikini after his divorce was final. Wonder who the lucky gal is? Or maybe he just bought it to wear around the house on Saturdays. Because, you know, he is Tiger Woods and all.
Here’s another one we’ll file under “what the hell were they thinking”? This goldfish bikini is truly bizarre. I sure hope it was created and meant to be a gag, instead of something you’d actually want to wear. Putting goldfish in containers they’re not supposed to be in is nothing new, but this is probably the first time you’ve seen it done with a bikini!
Celebutard and repeated parole violator Lindsay Lohan is shown here wearing a stylish new ankle bracelet along with her bikini. I swear whenever I see someone wearing one of these, it always reminds me of those electronic fences they have for dogs. I suppose Lindsay’s ankle bracelet performs much the same function. That doesn’t change the fact that she looks great in a bikini though!
We seem to have somewhat of a fascination with meat and bikinis. Lady Gaga’s meat bikini comes to mind. You’ve seen the meat bikini, now meat (get it, meat? ha!) the ham-bikini! I wasn’t able to find much information on this fashion nightmare, but all I can say is you’d have to be a pretty confident type to wear a bikini like this. I have to wonder what those pork heads are made of!
A seashell bikini top, as a novelty items go, is fine. If you’re in Hawaii or some other tropical paradise and feel like being a tourist, go ahead and strap one on. My issue here is the bottom. If you’ve ever been barefoot on a beach full of seashells, you know that these things are not fun to walk on. So if you like that kind of discomfort near your nether regions, then by all means, go for it. While it’s a sexy look for a photo shoot, I wouldn’t recommend chasing after a Frisbee or going jet-skiing in one of these.
This just goes to show that you can make a bikini out of just about anything your heart desires. I have no idea what the inspiration was behind this poker chip bikini. Maybe the designer was feeling lucky, who knows. Either way I can’t imagine this suit has much function to it, if any. But I’d be willing to bet that, if worn in the water, the whole thing would slide off.
Oh Lady Gaga, what WON’T you wear?
Guess it comes as no surprise that after her debut in a meat dress that a meat bikini would follow. Obviously, this was a stunt for Vogue Japan but the thought of draping slabs of red meat all over yourself kind of grosses me out. After a while it’d smell, you’d be cold, you’d probably start to wonder what kinds of things are seeping into your skin.
Personally, I’d rather eat it, not wear it.
Here’s a tribute to the fans of old school Nintendo: the Geekini. This bikini top features strategically placed directional controls and A and B buttons, while the bottoms have Start and Select buttons. Perfect for the 80s gamer. Don’t expect to plug in the two piece just yet: this bikini is strictly for wearing. Although I’m sure at some point some gamer will turn this dream into a reality.
I’m not sure this qualifies as a bikini. Certainly, it covers the same areas as a bikini, but there’s no way this “suit” is going in the water.
What, exactly, was the plan here? Something kinky I bet but I just think it’s a total waste of food.
